General humor spirituality

Thanksgiving Innovations that Should be Skipped

Here is a list of ideas that SHOULD NOT BE IMPLEMENTED to refresh the Thanksgiving Holiday:

  • Forget roasting a whole turkey…make a butter sculpture of a turkey the centerpiece of your thanksgiving dinner. Butter goes with everything: bread, vegetables, stuffing, corn, potatoes. What more could you ask for. Just carve slices off and serve them up.
  • Recreation of the first thanksgiving, complete with Pilgrims as Bioterrorist insurgents. 
  • Thanksgiving Carolling: A variety of new songs await composition: 
    • Gather Round the Ol’ Football Game
    • Thomas the Tottering Turkey
    • On Thanksgiving Day (We’ll Eat ’til We Barf)
    • The Family Gathers for Thanksgiving Day (and no blood was shed)
    • I’ll Be Home for Thanksgiving (Assuming I’m not stranded at O’Hare)
  • Ask each person at the table to name 1 reason they are thankful they are not the person to their left.
  • Asking teenagers to name 1 reason they are thankful.
  • Hiding thanksgiving eggs filled with stuffing around the house for the children to find.

This list is a starting point, but I’m pretty sure you all can help us avoid future disasters by suggesting your own additions in the comments.