In pretty much all spiritual traditions I’m aware of, there exists the discipline of surrender: the acknowledgement that we are not in control of our destinies, regardless of our delusions to the contrary. Certainly this is a central feature of most 12-step programs, but it has its roots in traditional spiritual paths as well. It is a based on a sense of humility: the idea that no matter how we may see ourselves, we do not really have control.
This realization is not meant to free us from the obligation to live our lives in the best way we can. Rather, it is to acknowledge that no matter how carefully we may plan, we cannot force our lives into a certain path. When push comes to shove, there are elements of life that are beyond our control.
Tonight, I come face to face with that need to surrender. No matter how hard I may try to fall asleep, I seem to remain awake. And so, I surrender, and admit that I cannot force sleep to come. And write one of the five or so blog posts running through my head.