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Pandemic Emails

Returning to Spring

An Email to my congregation on May 10, 2020

Dear Friends, 

After a week away on a retreat, it’s wonderful to be back. The retreat was great and deeply restorative. For me, unplugging from electronics for a week provided some much needed breathing room. Coming back and discovering how little I’d actually missed in a week of news was instructive. 

In thinking about things, I also realized that that I allowed myself to get a little run down by not delineating boundaries between work and time-off. This is something I need to work on–and will be trying to take my days-off a bit more seriously. So if you don’t hear back from me as quickly on a Monday or Wednesday (assuming the matter is non-urgent), please understand why. 

That being said, I very much want to be here for you. If you would like to talk, please don’t hesitate to call me. Let me know if you know of someone I should be checking in with. If you have an idea for a program, I’d love to hear it. 

Another learning from my week away is paying attention to the natural world. For many of us spending more time at home, it may feel like we are seeing less of the natural world. But we also have the ability to pay closer attention, day by day, as spring emerges. See if you can note the changes on a daily basis as a tree leafs out. How quickly does the grass grow?  How does spring emerge, bit by bit?

I hope everyone is safe and healthy. 

All the best, David

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Pandemic Emails

I’m Retreating

An Email to my congregation from April 26, 2020

Dear Friends, 

You may have noted that I’m including two weeks in this email. This is not a permanent change, but is for this week only, as I’ll explain below. 
I’ve written about the ways in which this period of social distancing has played out differently for different members of the community: those who are busier, those who have too much free time, those who are stressed and those who are enjoying a slower pace. I haven’t tended to talk about how I have been responding. This week, I will. 

When we first began this, in the early part of March, I wanted to make sure that people felt I (and the Temple) was at least as present as we had been. So I started posting more to Facebook. I added a weekly Psalms study. I’ve tried to increase the frequency of phone contact with various folks, and to be faster about responding to emails. In between this, I also redesigned our Passover Seder plans, planned a Yom Hashoah service, etc.. We took the Rabin Religious School online, figuring out what each student and family needed and wanted. 

All of this is to say, I’ve been busy, and running harder than is sustainable for me, and I became aware that my creativity and problem solving were/are not at a level I was happy about. I wasn’t doing the job as well as I wanted to. This all came to a head during one of my days off last week when I only worked 4 hours and counted that as a day off, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d taken a real day off. 

This is not to complain. I love to feel useful, needed, etc. But I also realized that I needed to top off my spiritual batteries. As I looked into the future at the events and conferences that normally restore me, it became obvious that there wouldn’t be any anytime soon. In fact, one of the first things cancelled was my rabbinical convention in mid-March which tends to be restorative for me. 

So with permission from Debra, and a lot of urging from Eva, I am going to take a one week solo silent retreat from this Wednesday until the next. It will be a time of meditation and prayer. A week of being rather than doing (as we speak of Shabbat). I will not be checking email and I hope to not be checking the phone. Eva will be able to reach me in an emergency, as will Debra.

I feel so lucky to be with a congregation and leadership that values my my well-being. I truly appreciate this opportunity to recharge, to once more be able to think strategically rather than reactively. I am deeply grateful and aware of the blessing that I work for you. 

And if this act of self-care on my part inspires some self-care in some of you, so much the better.

B’shalom,
David

Categories
Jewish Spirituality Pandemic Emails spirituality

Into the Omer

My email to my congregation on April 19

Dear Friends, 

Passover is over and we are in the period of the Omer when we count each day between Passover and Shavuot. This is a time of year when I often recommend picking up a new spiritual practice. This year is different. 

This year, I’m suggesting  that you look carefully at what you need for your own well-being. That might involve a new spiritual practice, but it could also be that you need to be placing fewer expectations on yourself. That what you require is not another discipline, but a relaxing of self-discipline. Permission to let things go more than you might normally be comfortable with. 

We are all dealing in our own ways. We each need different things. That’s okay.

For anyone who is interested in a new spiritual practice, there is a relatively new tradition of reading one chapter of the Bible each day. It’s called the 929, for the 929 chapters in the Hebrew Bible. We started the Book of Ezekiel last week and I spend yesterday catching up. While Ezekiel is a bit weird, I’m loving the opportunity to engage with this prophet at a leisurely pace. He is speaks from a time during the Babylonian Exile, speaking to us from a place of radical societal disruption. Somehow, this feels relatively relate-able (even if his mystical visions are the stuff of fever dreams). Here’s the website if you’d like to follow along: https://www.929.org.il/lang/en/today, or you can read it on Sefaria.org). 

As always, I am available for conversations, counseling, etc. Please feel free to be in touch by phone, email or text. 

All the best, David

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Pandemic Emails

Dealing with the Stress

An Email to my congregation from April 12, 2020

Dear Friends, 

We are spending this Passover in what can only be described as “unusual times.” It has been wonderful to see so many of you on Zoom for services, Torah study, Psalms or Seder.  As this period of intense distancing continues on past the one month mark, we are all feeling different things (and many of us find our feelings changing moment to moment). 

There is a sense of settling into a new routine, beginning to feel like we finally have a handle on this new mode of life. For others of us (or at other times for many of us) we are now beginning to wonder “how long will this last and how long is this a sustainable way of life?” For some this has been a time of increased productivity, whether at work or around the home. For others, we are paralyzed by anxiety, unable to start, much less complete, any projects. 

We are each reacting in our own ways. And that’s okay. 
I want to offer a teaching from Rebbe Nachman of Bratzloff, and early Chasidic leader. We often encounter it in the song “Gesher Tzar M’od.” All the world is a very narrow bridge, and the key is not to fear at all.  It turns out, this is a paraphrase of the original teaching, which was: Each person must pass over a very narrow bridge in this world, and the key is not to make oneself afraid. Stressful events happen. Fear is a part of life. The key, however, is not to make ourselves afraid more than we already are. 

Be kind to yourself. Take a step back from the news or Facebook or whatever, if that is stressing you out. If disaster movies on Netflix help you cope, great. If they stress you out, perhaps watch something a bit less stressful (my own viewing habits have shifted towards teen drama and romance, but your mileage may vary). Most of all, accept that however you are feeling, and however you are dealing or not dealing, are not topics for us to be judgmental of ourselves (or others) around. 

We are all passing over a very narrow bridge. Feel your feels, and know that this is how we pass out of Egypt and into freedom.

Wishing everyone a meaningful Passover and health, 

David

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Pandemic Emails

Why Is This Passover Different?

An email to my congregation on April 7, 2020

Dear Friends,
As we get ready for the Passover Seder, I want to acknowledge how strange this year is. Why is this year different from all other years?

On all other years we gather in-person to celebrate the Passover in gatherings large and small. In this year all of our gatherings are small. 
On all other years we (relatively) easily procure the necessary foods for the Passover Seder. In this year some of us will not have the traditional foods. 

On all other years, the Seder is a time when we put away our electronic devices. In this year, the Seder may be on an electronic device. 

On all other years we come and go from our homes with little thought. In this year, we take special care when we leave our homes. 

When I say that this year is strange, and this Passover feels different, I am saying something so obvious it hardly needs saying. Yet by acknowledging this strangeness we incorporate it into the stories of our lives and of our people. The Seders of this year will become part of the history of the Jewish people, just as the Seders celebrated in secret in concentration camps, or in a newly established State of Israel have become a part of who we are. 

In some ways, we will try to make this year just like every other year. But we also know that this year is not like any other year. While we mourn the loss of our “usual” Passover experience, let us also celebrate the uniqueness and specialness of this Passover experience. 

May this be a warm and memorable Passover.
All the best, 
David

Categories
Pandemic Emails

Things are Changing

This is an email I sent to my congregation on March 31, 2020

Dear Friends, 
For those who want to skip to this week’s schedule of activities, you will find that at the bottom of this email. 
Another week has come and gone. Some things are changing, some remaining constant. 
As I write to all of you, I am struck by the ways in which this is both a shared and individual experience. On the one hand, we are all living through this period of heightened anxiety and (I hope) we are all taking increased precautions and curtailing the our elective activities outside our homes. On the other hand, each of us experiences this time in a way unique to ourselves. For those in the medical field, this time may be bringing an increased workload and an added urgency to our worklives. For others of us, teachers, professors and others, it has meant we are continuing to work, but how we do that work has shifted. Jobs we have been doing competently for years, we now need to relearn how to do. “Other tasks as required” has suddenly become the most important part of our job descriptions. 
Some of us have no doubt seen our employment or livelihoods threatened by recent events. There may be additional, unwanted, time on our hands. For others, the additional time may be welcome, a chance to take on new projects. Some of us are trying to figure out how to cope with children who are now around all the time, making decisions about how much structure is useful and necessary, and what things just don’t matter at the moment, or are battles not worth fighting. And many, if not all of us, have cancelled plans, whether trips, celebrations or something else. 
And looming over all of our experiences is the overwhelming uncertainty. How long will this last for? Which plans and contingencies enacted in the first weeks of this situation need to be changed? When can we resume planning for the future?
One of the earliest plans I (and the ritual committee) made was around the Passover Seder. Not holding it in person was the easy choice. Originally, we planned to gather on Zoom as a wider community for candle lighting and the first kiddush. After that, we planned to suggest that everyone continue with the seder at their own tables. That no longer feels like a good fit for everyone. Our current plan is begin as initially intended, with candle lighting an kiddush, but then offer people the option of continuing their own seders offline in their own homes, or to continue on Zoom through the rest of the seder with me. I still don’t know exactly what that will look like, but we wanted to make sure that no one was doing the seder alone. 
As is clear, this is an evolving situation. We are evolving with it. If you have thoughts about how we can better serve you, please feel free to let us know. 
All the best, David